Wednesday, June 13, 2007

at the beach

so i have been here for less than 24 hours and im already worn out. i LOVE the beach. i want to live at the beach someday. its just warm people are happy when they are at the beach, i hate to wear clothes and it is just so beautiful here. there is so much fun stuff to do at the beach. im SO sad i didnt get to bring my bicycle here. i got it fixed specifically because i wanted to ride it here. oh well, there are crappy bikes that i have to buy a new tire for so i can ride them here. the road bike that needs fixed isnt actually that bad. it will be nice. i want to ride over the bridges and back, its an adventure i need to go on. WOO WOO!!!
So when i was running (I love having time to run and do whatever i want, its great, having a job is not going to be fun -which is why i need to be a writer or a painter or an artist or something...) i was thinking about the differences in when i run really really far and when i just stop running for no reason sometimes. when im running along staring at the road or sidewalk or whatever right in front of me, just keeping like 5 feet ahead of where i am then i run really really far. i just keep going and going. i dont like to vary my pace or to even to make adjustments for things crossing my path like potholes, other runners or bicyclers or even cars, i just get angry, grumble to my sweaty self and keep on running. when i realize this is what i am doing and that i am probably missing out on a lot, esp running at the beach. there are a TON or people here to look at, theres beautiful marshlands and ocean to see and there i am just plodding along staring at the ground, blind to everything around me. its kind of necessary when i run cause when i look up and see how far away i am from where i am going (with no one chasing me), or just everything around me i get distracted or start thinking more than just "right, left, right, left" i guess i get sensory overload and just stop running. i slow down to a walk without even thinking. i might not even realize i have slowed down. its crazy. its like my friggin life. when im just going along with what i am doing (school or whatever) and not paying attention to everything that is happening on the periphery (men, drinking, friends...). but when i look around and get distracted by all these things i tend to get totally off track. i have GOT to find some middle ground, like a treadmill. that works for me cause it just keeps going and i can look around provided i dont fall off... i dunno. holla!

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

So Its summer and im bored...

wow. im back, again. get excited. WOO WOO. I have a feeling that no one actually reads this blog, but i figured that i would record some of my thought from this horribly unproductive summer. Thus far i have completed my exams (late of course), moved out of the two bedroom and into a studio apt on campus, drank for like 3 weeks straight, worked for like 14 hours at the library and drank every night for about 3 weeks. its been real i guess. i also managed to have a bit of a fling which is probably cause for whole-nother post. it will be an interesting one for sure. im not even entirely sure that i am capable of relating the absolute ridiculousness of the last three weeks. in the next few weeks ill be at the beach with my sister and mom, then joined by my brother and friends. then i will be here, hopefully working somewhere, for a bit, then volunteering at Montreat, then leading a workshop at massenetta and then off to Brazil for three weeks. seriously, in the next several weeks who knows what i will end up in. all i know is that i will be leaving for Brazil July 17th. im stoked.
the inbetween time has been crazy though. it started the weekend of exams and just kept on going. karaoke, foosball, pool and burritos as big as your head. also a little punk rock, mohawks and pirates. i mean, im not sure how exactly it could have been a more exciting three weeks. also i got a new bike, its PINK!!! i thought it was fixed cause i took it in for a tune up but apparently one of the sprokets is broken or something. blegh. now i cant take it to GA and im pissed about that. super pissed. ill take mom's bike instead. i was really looking foward to riding around on the island, i guess you cant always get what you want. also im going with my anorexic sister so thats going to be interesting. i like to eat, i've recently been told (and love to hear) that i have the perfect body, so i could give a shit and i dont need disordered thinking anymore. none. i realize this is insensitive but you gotta preserve yourself ya know? its all good. im chillin here at 2 in the morning, watchin law and order and some scary move on TV. i miss my friends and sadly, my fling. it was nice to have somebody to make out with (and etc...) whose fingers werent broken (actually called me back) and who seemed to enjoy spending time with me. watcha gonna do? cant win em all i guess.
and i just killed the largest roach EVER. with a mop. because i am AWESOME. i HATE bugs.
im gonna hang with matil now! peace!