Friday, December 26, 2008


For the last semester I have been working on the idea of 'making visible the invisible' in art and religion as I went through the semester. I built a church for my African American Christianity Class and collaged the inside of it to represent all the concepts we talked about from religion in slavery through the present times.
This is the unpainted version that I sent to my professor so he would not lose hope!
the gray dribblies are a kind of rusting paint that is now orangish...

front of the church; table, pulpit and chairs

View from the front of the downstairs

Left Balcony

Right Balcony

Whole thing...


Ok, I hate olives, however I made the coolest things ever today and I just had to share them. I got bored on Christmas while the fam was cooking and I was sitting in front of some toothpicks and the vegetable platter and these are the result! i made a penguin, a tucan and a pelican!!! :) SO FUN!!!

Monday, December 15, 2008

Making Visible the Invisible

So this is my Senior Seminar Project "Making Visible the Invisible"
I am still adding things to it, but this is the direction I am going!

This picture turned out TERRIBLE online, in person its great.
Each screen has different marginalized peoples on it - India, Africa and Brazil are represented on the screens.

These are awesome pics I took laying down in front of the alter in my church. It has the table, the light of Christ, the pupit for the word and the cross representing Jesus. The pictures in the back are things we forget. Water for our baptismal vows, money that runs the world (or money we have an others dont), disasters that occur, things that have happened in the past, or that people are dying unjustly in other place in the world, blood spilled...

This has a painting of the trail of tears on it.

Spirit pic!

Japanese Americans lining up to be sent to internment camps.

industrial rusting cross


Slave Ship with full load :(

Friday, December 05, 2008

yea... beyonce

so, i heard this song today on my way here to the heine bros to do work and it is apparently what i have been waiting to hear for a long time. I think if you change 'hero' to 'pastor' or 'friend' or 'parent' or anything really. i know posting lyrics is lame, but whatevs im doing it.

lets face it i also like it because i am obsessed with "heroes" the show and because "SHE saves the world" - like I and my super powers will. someday!

i am of course blogging again during exams... go figure. only while i am too busy to do anything else. :p

"Save The Hero"

I lay alone awake at night
Sorrow fills my eyes
But I’m not strong enough to cry
Despite of my disguise
I’m left with no shoulder
But everyone wants to lean on me.
I guess I’m their soldier.
Well, who’s gonna be mine

Who’s there to save the hero
When she’s left all alone
And she’s crying out for help.
Who’s there to save the hero
Who’s there to save the girl…
After she saves the world
After she saves the world.

I bottle all my hurt inside,
I guess I’m living a lie.
Inside my mind it’s dead or die
What can bring me back to life?
A simple word, a gesture
Someone to say you’re beautiful
Come find this buried treasure

Who’s there to save the hero
When she’s left all alone
And she’s crying out for help
Who’s there to save the hero
Who’s there to save the girl
After she saves the world…
After she saves the world.

I’ve given too much of myself
And now it’s driving me crazy
(I’m crying out for help?
Sometimes I wish someone would
Just come here and save me…
Save me from myself

Who’s there to save the hero
When she’s left all alone
And she’s crying out for help
Who’s there to save the hero
Who’s there to save the girl
After she saves the world…
After she saves the world.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

New Art

Photos from the newest project for my senior seminar project!
i couldnt have done it without my dad, carriebell, rachel morris and my baby sister!!!
they arent edited yet... so not complete. but they will be soon!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

sooo... uhhh... yeaaa...

so i need to blog aye?
i mean it needs to happen. i have no fans, buts fun, lets face it... and BETTER THAN FACEBOOK. WOO.
ok... i will write one in the next 3 days!

Sunday, April 06, 2008


so i love postsecret, its become a spiritual practice for me to start obsessively checking every 20 minutes on Saturday night to see if the new ones have been posted yet. but in discussing this phenomenon with other people i have become a little concerned about the popularity of the postsecrets. Why is it so popular i ask? As i read them each week I wonder why these things are secret and i wonder what these secrets say about the things we actually value. I would say the root of most of them is an inability or the desire not to make yourself vulnerable. Things you couldnt tell your partner, things that would expose you as different from the impossibly odd standards society has laid upon us, expressions of thoughts that might condemn you or even change you by simply saying them out loud. Do i read these each week because i identify with the plight of these people, trapped inside my own sense of decency, unable to put myself out there enough to even stand next to someone at the grocery store.
Do we all live lives of secrets? If our society works because we keep things from each other what does that say about us? We might all be living a lie. How have we been made to feel so bad about ourselves that we cant even share our thoughts without worrying about being attacked for them, or for just being effected by feelings. Has capitalization bullied us into thinking that we actually dont have enough, dont look good enough, dont have someone, arent thin enough, arent muscled enough, arent happy enough, arent smart enough, dont matter enough unless we have all this stuff...etc... I think we may have been more effected by all of these things than we think. I mean just look at what has become of christmas over the last 50 years.
how does all this impact our faith. I have to dress a certian way to be a christian, be branded if you will. How can i be saved enough, happy enough, have enough christian art, the right bumper stickers and all that...? Just trying to be all that is exhausting. God made humans not clones. why all the secrets? what made some things ok to talk about and other things not.
secrets destroy communities. The one i am in here at school is still suffering from the aftermath of secrets. Its not fun because everyone is so suspicious of each other, the class above me particularly suffered i think. its horrible. its like everyone things the other guy has a gun in his pocket. why are we fascinated with these secrets. what are these secrets doing to America and how can we start truth telling again? Theres more power in truth than there is in cohesion or secrets. ask Martian Luther King, Thomas Merton or the womens rights activists. people respond to truth, but we have gotten so cynical that we might not even believe it. we need Jeremiah, Micah, Amos, Isaiah, Elijah, Elisha to come and get us to listen or at least work at it. now it feels like all the sides are sitting in a different rooms of a corporate high rise congratulating each other on the great job we are doing ignoring the fact that the building is on fire.
dunno what to do about that, or how i got here from postsecrets, but it is what it is. how can i start this honesty movement. transparency of communication. illumination of the people.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

do it

Friday, February 29, 2008

A cat poster

Humorous Pictures

Humorous Pictures
This is AWESOME!!!

Thursday, February 21, 2008

some things...

I felt like I MUST share this comic with as many people as possible. I am not entirely sure its legal for me to post it, but i did - so whatever. this comic sometimes absolutely rules. Like many others, sometimes it doesnt. I am also going to put my favorite postsecret so far on here. it was perfect because it was on just as I started class on Sexuality and Pastoral care and was in a relationship that made me wish it was appropriate for me to print this out and hand it to those of the appropriate gender... Its just not that hard, and I have never understood why we are so afraid of our bodies, of each others bodies and why we cant be comfortable with sexuality. You would think that since American culture has sexualized absolutely everything that we would be a little more comfortable with it. Instead, we cant just have regular relationships because EVERYTHING is sexual. It stinks, makes life awkward and
boring because there is no mystery when you know whats coming every time. Its just weird how we do. We cant touch without wondering what was behind it, men cant sit directly next to each other, hugs can be considered overstepping your boundaries. In Brazil everyone gives a hug and two kisses every time they see you. It was great. If you need 10 touches a day to be human, then Americans are robots. I am getting off the soap box now, but one last thing. I just think its sad that you have to second guess why you would put your arm around someone to comfort them. ya know?
I mean, who ever made this one was a genius. It think its fantastic. I guess its gonna be picture sharing time. I have another one i really like. I stole it from the Rethinking Youth Ministry blog. Its just wonderful, I LOVE the image of the leaning rusty broken cross. I think it speaks to what has happened to Christianity when we domesticated it.
Its towering, still visible, but decaying and hollow and i question whether there is still life to it. When i look at this picture I wonder if it used to light up at night and if it still does - because that would give leave a glimmer of hope to me. I got one more, then i HAVE TO DO HOMEWORK - which lets face it is lame. well its not lame, i have to learn how to preach. HAVE TO. so i guess its good homework. here is a picture i took at the beach in Mississippi on the Highland Pres mission trip this summer. That was such a good trip for me. I love mission work, anywhere. This is what was left of the Pier after Katrina, 2 years later. I have no idea what that sheet on it is, but it sure looks like a ghost or something. so... i lied and there are a few more pictures that need on here. I took these on the snow day. I dont know what was up with my camera but it took these amazing pictures. The one to the right is the first one. IT IS CRAZY. thats a tree outside out library. the tree is dead. they have been having all these arguments on campus about what to do with it, because it might fall over or whatever. A tornado came through a few weeks ago and other HUGE LIVE trees fell on campus, and that one was completely fine. The next picture is also a little out there. I didn't edit these at all or anything. they just came out of camera land like this. What is going on here? Your guess is as good as mine. homework time!!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

dinosaurs r us

umm. this is the most hysterical thing i have seen all day. well, in a long time anyways. JESUS WITH A T-REX!!!!
HOLY CRAP! made my day! I wonder if "all are welcome at the table" includes dinosaurs? maybe just the plant eaters? I mean, I wouldn't want to get eaten by a valosa raptor or a pterodactyl while gathered around the lords table. but who knows, Jesus could and should love dinosaurs. and honestly, i hope its a real advertisement, because that would make it more funny. we do have to have to let politicians to the table, and politics, but we don't have to let personal beliefs impact working for the people. aye? i dont know about that, because its my beliefs that make me want to work for the people. hmmm. i dont want the church to guide the state, in any way. doesnt work. I would prefer that those who are governing would keep in mind they dont work for themselves, they work for the people. ok im done. homework now!

holy crap! now check this out:

its dinosaur week!! how fantastic!!!

Monday, February 18, 2008

i suck at this...

well, i suck at this. being sick, i haven't really left the house all that much and i still manage to over my spending limits. not on food, but on stuff. i had to buy books, glasses, medication and some other stuff that i apparently couldn't resist. ugh. I so badly need to be in a world of simple living, where having more stuff doesn't make life easier. I don't think i ever realized how much all of this effects all the parts of our lives. i want to be somewhere i just get up and put on clothes in the morning and go about my business. i don't want to worry what i look like, what other people are thinking about what i am wearing and how i look in it. i want to have to have a thousand pairs of shoes, ten hundred shirts and like eleventy billion other kinds of things so i can be trendy. i dont.
BUT then i go into the mall and all of a sudden im a fashion expert and im wanting to purchase everything i see. sure i like to look nice, i dont mind wearing clothes that make my body look nice, but i dont want it to run my life. i so frustrated with myself. ugh. things keep happening.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008


I am always astounded by the uncreativity involved in the titles of my blogs... Seeing as how they are few and far between, you would think I could come up with something a little better. I am still stuck on all this financial stuff. Obviously I am still appalled with my own spending practices. I have been chronicling every expenditure that I have made since January started, because the simple living dude made me understand that I am living the ridiculous, hypocritical life of a typical American Christian. I can talk until i am blue in the face about poverty, hunger, food deserts in the city, classism, oppression of the poor and the next moment spend 5 dollars on coffee and 50 dollars on nothing at target. The thing is that having more stuff isnt helping anyone. The desire for more things really is just perpetuating a system that depletes the world or resources so a bunch of things can pile up in my house then they can go sit in a dump somewhere polluting the world we attempt to live in. We are like locusts. I am completely disgusted that the government is now trying to jump-start the economy by giving everyone money and encouraging us to spend it on things we probably don't need. Well, I'm going to damn the man and pay off my credit card with it. woo! Why don't they find another way to make things work? Why are we cloning animals to eat? Why not instead encourage better eating habits so we don't need the excess? I guess I, because I am American, deserve everything i want at the moment, and in large quantities.
I am also astounded at how everything costs money. I forget because I guess I have been programed to get my credit card out and swipe it. Maybe I am even addicted to the habit! the doctor costs money, insurance costs, the phone costs, the internet, coffee to sit in the cafe and have internet costs money, groceries cost money, hanging out with friends inevitably leads to spending money, eating out is ridiculous these days, getting sick costs, staying healthy costs, school costs money, books, pens, pencils, paper, pictures, drawing, art, gas, car repairs... what is free? I went over my 50 dollars a week with a doctor's visit. Is that ok? Kt says its find because I have to get better for school, but if I really only had the 50 bucks, I would not have had the money for the doctor and would have been screwed. So now I just feel guilty. Luckily we have had snow days so I haven't even been tempted except for buying books, because I had to. Honestly, I haven't even been tempted to leave my apartment feeling this way, so whatever its all good. I start over tomorrow so, maybe it will go better.
I just get so frustrated with so many things in the world I live in. I hope i survive my simple living experiment. Well, more than survive, I hope I am changed by it. More later.

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Just American I Guess

I have gotten like 4 Lenten devotionals in the mail so far and I find this a bit frustrating. Am I really going to read these? No, I dont even have time to do all my reading for school. Why did someone send me this? Were they that concerned that I would need help reflecting during this period? Lets face it, probably. I do need help focusing all the time, particularly during lent. It seems that when I have to think about giving up something, or doing something extra, then I just want to do it less.
This year for lent i am going to start doing more of these reflections (time permitting, I'm taking an ass-ton of hours this semester) on my Lenten practice. Last year i started riding my bike everywhere, which is fabulous. I start that again tomorrow. Cold or not, I need to keep that up. Just giving it up makes me feel crappy because I like riding the bike and I typically feel guilty for driving around town. This year, in an attempt to further my understanding and actually practice simple living, I am going to try and only spend 50 dollars a week on stuff and 50 dollars a week on food. Having this allergy to wheat makes 50 dollars a week for food a hazard because I cant compromise on the cheap stuff if it has a wheat protein in it anywhere.
So far it hasnt been bad because I just havent been anywhere or in a crunch. Grocery shopping is going to be a challenge because I am going to have to plan my meals out pretty well before I go, so that I wont be tempted to buy things i don't need. I feel a little weird needing to experience simple living though, because I am doing it by choice. Other people that I would like to be in solidarity with are not choosing, they are just existing. I guess I feel a little fake, but at least now I might have a more clear understanding of what it is like for some people everyday, not just 40 days of a year.
So I have always been obnoxious in stores, ask my mom. I have no idea how it got programed into me, well i guess i have some idea. But when I would, and now do, walk around places like walmart (sorry) and target I pretty much want everything I see. I don't know why, but I also like to point this out to the people i am with (normally my mother). I may not actually have any intention of purchasing an item, but I still want it. Today it bothered me in the store that i felt that way. I went there to get pens, so i could write things down in my apt, because i had no pens for some reason, and i ended up in the craft section, the video section, the curtains section, the underpants section and the clothes section. What is my deal?! Its like a rush, looking around at all those things, it was like an adrenalin rush, because I am always get so tired about an hour into shopping... must be the adrenalin wearing off. I could have justified buying any of that stuff if I didnt have this spending limit. it makes me mad that i think this way and i think part of it is because its the American way. individualism and materialism. It is so frustrating that I have been impacted so deeply by these two "ism's." I wonder how i will pull myself out of it? I think my lent thing will for sure help me break the cycle of senseless impulse purchases.
I think part of it also comes from the fact that I always have the cushion of support that is my parents, should i mess up too badly on any front. That is wonderful, but I guess knowing that i'm tight rope walking with a net causes me not to be as careful as i would be otherwise.
It must (well i know it is, ive been there a little i guess) be SO frustrating to walk around in stores and know that you cannot buy any of these things even if you wanted to. I mean giving gifts is impossible, tithing is impossible, even eating is sometime difficult. You cant eat organic, you cant have natural food products, you cant even avoid transfat, but when do you have time to do the research to find out what you should and shouldnt be eating if you are working all the time to pay rent, bills, for gas and then have 50 dollars left over to spend. ugh.
Ill keep thinking, we will see. Simple living seems to be the way to go, especially if after just a few days i am completely disgusted with whatever fever i seem to catch when i get into these huge box stores. I certainly dont want to be elitest about what ive decided to do, or to be all in peoples faces about it, but I feel almost called to this experience. i dont know how this will work out, but we will see.