yep...

I am always astounded by the uncreativity involved in the titles of my blogs... Seeing as how they are few and far between, you would think I could come up with something a little better. I am still stuck on all this financial stuff. Obviously I am still appalled with my own spending practices. I have been chronicling every expenditure that I have made since January started, because the simple living dude made me understand that I am living the ridiculous, hypocritical life of a typical American Christian. I can talk until i am blue in the face about poverty, hunger, food deserts in the city, classism, oppression of the poor and the next moment spend 5 dollars on coffee and 50 dollars on nothing at target. The thing is that having more stuff isnt helping anyone. The desire for more things really is just perpetuating a system that depletes the world or resources so a bunch of things can pile up in my house then they can go sit in a dump somewhere polluting the world we attempt to live in. We are like locusts. I am completely disgusted that the government is now trying to jump-start the economy by giving everyone money and encouraging us to spend it on things we probably don't need. Well, I'm going to damn the man and pay off my credit card with it. woo! Why don't they find another way to make things work? Why are we cloning animals to eat? Why not instead encourage better eating habits so we don't need the excess? I guess I, because I am American, deserve everything i want at the moment, and in large quantities.
I am also astounded at how everything costs money. I forget because I guess I have been programed to get my credit card out and swipe it. Maybe I am even addicted to the habit! the doctor costs money, insurance costs, the phone costs, the internet, coffee to sit in the cafe and have internet costs money, groceries cost money, hanging out with friends inevitably leads to spending money, eating out is ridiculous these days, getting sick costs, staying healthy costs, school costs money, books, pens, pencils, paper, pictures, drawing, art, gas, car repairs... what is free? I went over my 50 dollars a week with a doctor's visit. Is that ok? Kt says its find because I have to get better for school, but if I really only had the 50 bucks, I would not have had the money for the doctor and would have been screwed. So now I just feel guilty. Luckily we have had snow days so I haven't even been tempted except for buying books, because I had to. Honestly, I haven't even been tempted to leave my apartment feeling this way, so whatever its all good. I start over tomorrow so, maybe it will go better.
I just get so frustrated with so many things in the world I live in. I hope i survive my simple living experiment. Well, more than survive, I hope I am changed by it. More later.